Allow Yourself to Feel, Allow Yourself to Heal

Pain is that enemy we always want to avoid. But the only way it truly goes away is to face it and feel it.

SELF-LOVE

The Sophisticats

2021-09-13 2 min read

You are probably reading this because, at some point in your life, you experienced pain. Emotional pain. The feeling that everyone wants to avoid. The ugly force in the universe that hurts every inch of your soul. How do we fight it? 

For most of us, once we experience emotional pain, we avoid it, and pretend that it’s okay. We think that when we ignore it, it is not going to hurt. We think that if we try not to feel it, it is not going to harm us anymore. But you see, pain truly demands to be felt. You could cover it all you want. Bury it underneath. But, deep inside you know for yourself, it is there- struggling to come out. The time will come that you won’t be able to hold it any longer. Then it harms you even more. 

So, let it go. It’s the only way. Let it go. 

It takes courage to face your fear. It takes tons of bravery and patience to deal with pain. Some days you’re okay. Some days it feels worse. Some days you’re empty. Some days you’re hopeful, then hopeless. Some days, you feel so much stronger. Then comes a day you feel so weak. Pain is a traitor element. But no matter how hard it is, one thing is for sure. Sooner or later, this pain goes away. Everything gets better. You only have to allow yourself to feel it. Cry, shout, drink, smoke, or go for a trip if you must. Let yourself feel. Reflect on what happened. Accept the truth. Whatever or whoever gave you pain, let it go. Forgive the person, but don’t forget the lesson. If you lost a loved one, accept the fact that that person isn’t with you anymore or any day in the future physically. But, keep that loved one in your heart and memory. He or she is in a better place. 

Feel it, and take your time. There isn’t an absolute process in grief. Only you know how to deal with it, and how much time you need. It may take weeks, days, months, and even years. But again, it’ll get better. Things always get better. But, you have to allow it. Don’t hold on to the wrong or bad things that happened.

I know this because I’ve dealt with so much pain in my life, I never imagined. I allowed myself to feel. I cried many nights, but I never gave up. I realized that when I accepted my pain, it felt lighter. It was slow, but it was beautiful. I learned so much, and I really felt emotionally and mentally stronger. I became more understanding of people and situations. I became kinder to myself. Pain can really teach people a lot. And now, it is time for me to also learn from the happiness my future brings. 

So for whoever is reading this, believe me, pain fades. But happiness, that is something you can constantly create. For now, you’ve got to feel to heal. 


The rain isn't so bad you know. It's when you find what true warmth is.

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